I am a born Seer and I come from a long line of healers from both my maternal and paternal lineages. Seeing and healing are in my lineages in many forms, though were hidden in the more recent generations because of colonial trauma. Because of colonial patriarchal conditioning, it took me a long time to recognize and honor my gifts. I am a psychic medium, claircognizant, clairsentient, clairvoyant, clairaudient, a channel/oracle. I am also a Highly Sensitive Person and deeply empathic. My family, friends, and strangers would always comment on my healing aura and would wonder how I always knew what they were feeling and what they needed, and knew things that they never shared. I believed this is how everyone experienced life. When I was younger, I tried to suppress my gifts because I would see and feel more than I wanted to. Now I know my gifts and my soul path are not something I can escape.
Seeing and channeling is not something I “do”, it is who I am. It took me a long time to trust and share my gifts and practice. This I know is related to deep colonial trauma of my ancestral mothers being killed for practicing their gifts. I reclaim for them, and also for me, and those that feel called to work with me, knowing that these are gifts that are entrusted to me by Spirit. It is my deep honor to serve as a vessel.
My path is that of a medicine woman. I have chosen to not pursue licensure as a Psychologist as I am not aligned with the colonial field. I believe in therapy as it is an Indigenous practice afterall, though have intentionally decided to not work in a field that pathologizes folx for problems that are rooted in colonial trauma. My work now is to help BIWFOC (Black, Indigenous Women and Femmes of Color) be free from colonial programming rather than having them internalize colonial labels.
In Indigenous tradition, I honor my teachers, which also include my ancestors. I am in a Ñusta Paqo Inca Shamanism apprenticeship and receiving initiation rites with the Q'ero Inca Nation tradition, with Pampa Mesayoq Don Alejandro Apaza of the Apaza family lineage. I am also learning with Q'ero initiated Mesa carrier and medicine woman Marilu Shinn.
I am also a Reiki practitioner and learning traditional Japanese Reiki with traditional Japanese Reiki educator, Marika Clymer. My energy healings currently are in the Japanese Reiki tradition with my ancestors working through and guiding me.
My greatest teachers and elders growing up were my mama and my abuelita. They were healers in their own right, my abuelita a medicine woman, deeply connected to plants and animals, and my mama, an unofficial therapist in her community. Nurturing others were their gifts, they are loving and fierce, have caring hearts and are also lionesses when fighting against injustice and the patriarchy. I inherited these energies, and this mission. Being a medicine woman and a warrior is in my DNA. My ancestors and my mothers have prepared me for my work today.
Counseling Psychology, Ph.D.
I have always been drawn to helping and guiding others on their sacred journey. My path originally took me the route of earning a doctorate in Counseling Psychology and training as a therapist, researcher, and professor. I knew that I wanted to help people and this was the path that I felt I needed to take at the time. As a first generation child of “immigrants” and daughter and granddaughter of parents and grandparents that grew up in poverty, the Ph.D. was not expected, it was extremely difficult. And, I felt like it was the path that would ensure success so that I could be in a position to help my family. I was raised working class by a single mother and my biggest motivator was doing everything in my power to help her and my sisters. Growing up, we had a stable home and always had our needs met, but as the eldest daughter, I remember the stress of living paycheck to paycheck and wondering if we would have enough to make it. Pursuing higher education, although it was something my family knew nothing about felt like the surest bet to help us have more stability.
I am one generation removed from poverty, and so academia was a foreign world to me. It is because of academic mentors, particularly Dr. Jeanett Castellanos, and Dr. Joe White’s freedom train, that I made it. I did not do it alone, I am grateful for my academic family because I know that without them, I would not have made it through. While initially I thought I would become a psychologist, it was during my clinical internship year that I decided I would pursue professorship. I made this decision because I did not know how to set emotional and energetic boundaries in working with folx. I am deeply empathic and highly sensitive, and felt “too much”, I didn’t feel like I could sustain this. And so I decided to pursue a career in academia. I believed (erroneously) that being a professor would afford me more boundaries and that I would be able to serve as a mentor to help other students and families like mine.
My favorite part about being a professor was the teaching and learning with students. Though, it was not the “easy” path I expected. As you can imagine, women of color like me are severely underrepresented and oppressed in academia. Women of color tend to carry much of the load of nurturing Black, Indigenous, students of color, in addition to the overwhelming work required to be a tenured professor. Because academia is a colonial institution and is built to support white middle class men that have help at home, women of color end up burning the candle at both ends, at home and at work. This is what I experienced. And, eventually after earning tenure, I developed a chronic migraine disability because of working in a toxic environment and exploiting my body to earn a Ph.D. and to achieve a “lifelong” position by earning tenure. After years of working in daily pain, the pain became unbearable and I was forced to take a medical leave. Eventually, I was fired because I was debilitated, and my university would not provide me with accommodations to fit my disability needs.
New Path, New Earth
I experienced a “dark night of the soul” because everything my mom and I worked so hard for, was lost in an instant. I felt powerless, worthless, and what I thought was the end of the world at the time, was actually Spirit and ancestors bringing me back to my soul’s path and bringing me to do deep healing work for our lineage.
It is through this time of honoring my body, my vessel, honoring my peace, no longer giving everything away to everyone and everything, engaging in daily ritual, that I strengthened my Seer abilities. I began to hear my ancestors loud and clear, and a new path emerged. I lost and grieved so much through this period, a time full of the underworld and shadow work, a needed shedding, a necessary preparation for the work that I do today.
Had I not had this experience, I would not have been awakened to the colonial lies, I would not have become conscious of how much my identity was wrapped in colonial. This part of my lifepath and story was absolutely necessary and I see this today. I am so grateful for the lessons and for my ancestors and Spirit leading me to my higher purpose when I could not see it.
This initiation was needed for me to serve in the way I do now. For me to help folx, particularly women of color, reclaim their peace, their wellness, their liberation. I’ve worked with thousands of women, femmes, and folx in helping them decolonize their mind and liberate their spirit with the intention of birthing the New Earth.
Now that I have accepted my soul’s path, the women and femmes of color I work with share that my healings are powerful. We’ve had so many powerful and beautiful experiences in the spirit realm, ones that our human mind cannot comprehend, but that our soul knows as returning to home. I am always always in awe. It is my deep honor to serve as a vessel. I believe my work is potent because it is in my DNA, my healings are powerful because my ancestors work through me. I also deeply know that I was born to do this work, it is my soul’s purpose, I humbly serve.
I am able to hold space for others because I’ve experienced the depths of my soul, because I’ve done the internal healing work. I walk in light because I have held and hold space for the shadow too. Through experiencing a spiritual death, I have lived and experienced all of the lies of the matrix, lies of the colonial capitalist patriarchy. NOTHING is guaranteed and playing their game will only end in you being exhausted, sick, and disconnected from your spirit and power.
I had to lose everything to be born again, to discover my soul’s path. I had to spend time inward to heal, not just for me, but for my lineage. Unlearning colonial servitude and healing from deep colonial programming is not just my work, it is my lived experience. I had to face the truth of my life, of my colonial indoctrination, of colonial intergenerational trauma that led to exploiting myself, that led me to believing that I was inferior, undeserving of ease and rest, wellness, and abundance. I had to face the reality that while I had high self esteem, at my core, I still believed I was unworthy and this showed up in the way I didn’t take care of myself but took care of others. I had to accept that the colonial programming I inherited kept me in survival mode, numb to how depleted I was. I had to take my power back, to heal. It is a journey that took many years of deep internal work and a journey that is lifelong. It is because of these experiences and the culmination of my life’s work and path, that I am able to walk with and guide those that are ready to do this deep shadow and liberation work of decolonial healing. Those that are ready to unlearn how the oppressive interlocking systems of the colonial capitalist patriarchy have deeply impacted how they live their lives, how they exist in a colonial prison, and how they’ve unconsciously been complicit in their own oppression. This work is heavy and layered, and try as I might, I know that it is work that I cannot do, it is the work my soul was born to do. It is my deep honor to work with and guide the courageous souls that have accepted the path of decolonial healing to heal and free themselves and their lineage. I deeply believe that those that are called to work with me have been chosen by their ancestors to do this work, to reclaim their soul, their intuition, to remember who they and their ancestors were before colonization.
I am so deeply honored for those that trust me to be their guide on this journey of decolonial healing, for the sweet souls that have the courage to do this transformational collective and personal healing work. I honor you. What a gift to witness you begin to heal yourself, to love yourself, to reclaim your sovereignty. Deep bow beautiful, courageous souls.
Mama, Wife, Daughter, Sister, Comadre, Madrina
A life of ease, harmony, and abundance is important to me and one that I hope for all of us. And so, I protect my energy, honor my motherhood and family time so that I can serve in a way that honors all of me and doesn't collude with colonial patriarchal servitude.
Thank you for honoring all of me and not just my work. It is my prayer that this becomes part of the New Earth, a return to our sacred ways.