The reason you struggle with surrendering is because the colonizer taught you to value control.
My loves, this is a hard one, isn't it?
We have difficulty resting, surrendering, trusting, flowing with life and Spirit because we are still dealing with colonial trauma.
Feeling a sense of urgency is colonial. I know this now and this consciousness helps me to combat that feeling when it comes up.
The reality is that nothing is under our control. We have the illusion that we are in control, and we try to force an outcome. & Even though that outcome may be positive, forcing still messes with the magick, with the spirit.
We need to return to our Indigenous ways of being, focusing on intentions, entrusting our work to Spirit and ancestors and placing ourselves in their guidance to allow the real work to happen.
I have learned that my work is an offering, and that I have to trust that it will be received in the way it is intended, in the way it is needed. It is really not about me to some extent. Yes, I am an expert and I do my work really well and I have gifts, I can honor that. But, it's not all about me, I am being used as a vessel by Spirit and ancestors. And, you know what? That gives me peace, that relieves a whole lot of pressure. I’m never alone, I am deeply protected.
You, your work, don't have to be "perfect" to create healing and liberation. It is actually better that it isn't. These things are hard though, I understand because we've been colonized to believe the opposite. &, I am here to help you remember.
Loving you 💖